An Englishman's Home Is His Castle - Professor Elemental

Hello lovely, you look stunning

Lots of fun in my house coming

Care for a biscuit or a liquorice twist?

It’s best not to sit there;

better not risk it

That chair, right there, reserved for geoffrey-

A butler who helps me, a monkey?

Definitely

An ape, probably, I’m never quite sure

Have a look around

Don’t open that door!

That’s where the lab is, where I produce a

Number of things and one got loose so

Keep an eye out for something new

Here at Elemental Manor there’s something to do

That’s alarming, bizarre, disarming, and charming

Ghosts in the attic, giant rabbits in the garden

Half past three: I’m parched, im partial

To a bucket load of tea

In my home;

my castle

An englishmans home is his castle

Come on in, how do you take your tea?

We’ve been waiting for you

Oh, your welcome, you’re all so terribly welcome

An englishmans home is his castle

Well hello, so much for you to see

We’ve been waiting for you

And now that you’ve made it I’m ever so pleased

I’m gonna get you a taxi, honey

Try to be ready 'bout half past eight

Come on now, don’t be late

I’m gonna be there when the band starts playing

In case we haven’t been introduced,

I’ll save you the interview

A brief run down, an interlude

Geoffrey, damn your eyes, bring some soup

Let’s start with my loves:

Wearing khaki, my lovely hats and lavish parties,

Experiments, exotic dance, inventing things, exotic plants,

And pots of tea and mystery, and dear Geoffrey

And more tea (obviously)

And battenburg and being nice,

And badgers, crumble, gin with ice,

And machine that fly, doing what’s right,

Or going on a nudist hike.

That’s quite alright

Don’t look so startled

My land, my grounds, my home, my castle

Just remember when we get there honey,

New steps, I’m gonna have 'em all

Dance above my shoes