Stuff The Jubilee - Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine

I’m not an anarchist

But I know a man who is

He composed this masterpiece

About the nouveau stinking riche

Of cabbages and future kings

And marriage guidance councelings

Of geriatrics losing hope

In Stephen Patrick’s overcoat

Excuse my rudery

But stuff the juoblee!

It’s the last tango at the palace

Christopher goes down on Alice

A make-up girl from Selfridges

Unaccustomed to such privileges

Of His Majesty’s secret services

The kind of secret services

Usually confined to circuses

Excuse my rudery

But stuff the jubilee!

Princess A to Princess Bea

And all their work for charity

Every royal lion' s head

On every boiled and frying egg

And every sodding polo team

In Hello !

bloody magazine

And if you feel this story lacks

The royal seal on candle wax

Reel to reels of scuzzy facts

Of dodgy deal and income tax

String me up from Traitor’s Gate

Stick my head upon a stake

And if you feel this story sucks

That’s probably because I made it up

I didn' t really hitch a lift

To Windsor Castle bearing gifts

And I can prove it wasn' t me

I was on a stage in Germany

I’ve always loved the Oueenie Mum

Her daughters and her daughter' s sons

From Princess A to Princess Bea

And all the Royal Family

Stuff the jubilee!