Threw It On The Ground - The Lonely Island

I was walkin' through the city streets

And a man walks up to me and hands me the latest energy drink

«Run faster, jump higher»

Man, I’m not gonna let you poison me

I threw it on the ground

You must think I’m a joke

I ain’t gonna be part of your system

Man!

Pump that garbage in another man’s veins

I go to my favorite hot dog stand

And the dude says, «You come here all the time!

Here’s one for free»

I said, «Man!

What do I look like?

A charity case?»

I took it and threw it on the ground!

I don’t need your handouts!

I’m an adult!

Please!

You can’t buy me hot dog, man!

At the farmer’s market with my so called girlfriend

She hands me her cell phone, says it’s my dad

Man, this ain’t my dad!

This is a cell phone!

I threw it on the ground!

What, you think I’m stupid?

I’m not a part of your system

My dad’s not a phone!

DUH!

Some poser hands me cake at a birthday party

Whatcha want me to do with this?

Eat it?

Happy birthday to the ground!

I threw the rest of the cake, too!

Welcome to the real world, jackass!

So many things to throw on the ground

Like this, and this, and that, and even this

I’m an ADULT!

Two Hollywood phonies try to give me their autograph

GROUND!

Nobody wants your autograph, phonies!

Then the two phonies got up

Turned out they had a taser

And they tased me in the butthole

Fell to the ground

The phonies didn’t let up

Tasin' on my butthole over and over

I was screamin' and squirmin'

My butthole was on fire

The moral of the story is

You can’t trust the system

Man!