Fifty - The Key of Awesome

You walk into the office and pull yourself together

For a meeting with your a-hole boss

He tells you that youre fired, but he calls it retired

He says Sorry but weve gotta cut costs

You start screaming like a fool

You trash your cubicle

And they have to call security

You see a hot girl by the curb

And you try to flirt with her

But she thinks you need help crossing the street

When youre fifty

Sometimes you drink till you pass out on the floor

Now your livers destroyed and youve got hemorrhoids

And you can barely get it up anymore

MIKE

Aww cmon that only happened once!

Shut up, Taylor Swift?

TAYLOR

Fifty

TAYLOR

Youre kids think youre lame and they can’t hide their shame

When youre with them in public place

And your wife can hardly stand you she always reprimands you

And your son calls you a douchebag to your face

And then youve finally had enough

You say, son you think youre tough?

You think that you can whoop your dad?

Hes says, No Id rather not

You say, gimme your best shot

And then he kicks you in the nads

When your 50

MIKE

Hey shut up!

Ill sing a verse your stupid song?

Youve got squinty little eyes, and you sound crappy live

Kanye was drunk but he wasn’t wrong

And you sucked on the Grammys

MIKE

Im sorry Taylor Swift.

Im just going through a rough time.

That was uncalled

for.

Youre very talented

MIKE

Ahhhh!

Somebody get me the hell out of this enchanted forest