Beelz - Stephen Lynch

Ever since first man has walked this earth I have been here

To whisper seeds of doubt and evil thoughts into his ear

I am the beast the outcast angel fallen from on high

I go by many names but there is one you cant deny

My name is Satan

My friends call me Old Scratch and I am a Capricorn

My turn-ons are romantic walks and killing the unborn

I’ve got little devil horns and a little goatee

Little devil eyes to help a little devil see

And little cloven hoves make it hard to ski

I’m Satan… WOOHOO

My real name is Beelzebub but you can call me Beelz

I love to watch Fox News and then go club some baby seals

Then I’ll take a bubble bath and drink a zinfandel

Try to wash off that baby seal smell

Then I’ll make a toast to me — hey here’s to my health…

My name is Satan

To carry on my evils ways I went and had a son

And now he makes his living as a singing comedian

I’m in every Zeppelin album I’m in all Rush Limbaughs rants

I’m the reason that the Boston Red Sox even had a chance

And if I wanna eat your soul I’ll just throw it on a griddle

Dont need to make a deal I dont need to tell a riddle

And fuck Charlie Daniels I dont care if you can fiddle

I’m Satan

The Devil went down to Georgia, he was lookin for a soul to steal…

Uh, that’s fuckin bull shit because I would not be caught dead in Georgia…