It's Dangerous to Go Alone - Starbomb

Hey, hey, alright

Yeah, aw yeah

My name is Link, y’all, I’m straight outta Hyrule

Been on the force of good since 1986, old school

I’m bringing you a laid-back summertime jam

Hold on a minute, Link!

Hey what’s up, old man?

I see that you’re embarking on another epic quest

You’re gonna use your Ocarina to rescue the princess

But you’ll need a magic weapon that’ll never ever miss

It’s dangerous to go alone, take this!

Oh, thanks, old man, that is really very nice

I can always count on you for help and friendly advice

Though I’ve never seen a sword of quite that shape or size

Oh, God, that’s not a sword, it’s your dick in disguise

Yes, I can’t lie, I have painted my schween

Now grab your destiny, if you know what I mean

Wait a minute, Link, don’t leave the cave, where do you think you’re going?

This is a great chance to fondle old scrotum that you’re blowing

That was weird but whatever, there is no time to lose

I gotta warp right now to Zelda in this chilled-out groove

Wait this isn’t Ganon’s lair, I’m in Liberty City

This place looks just like Philadelphia, but even more shitty

I’m at the corner of Dead Cop and Prostitute Junction

Something in my Ocarina must have gone and malfunctioned

I gotta fix it quickly, there is justice to do

Hold on a minute, Link!

Old man, is that you?

This is a place you can’t survive with just your sword and your wits

It’s dangerous to go alone, take this!

Well that’s really kind of--

Gah!

That’s your wrinkled dick again

Look, I know I wear a tunic, but I’m not into men

Don’t be that way, bitch, let me introduce you

To my three best friends, Mr. Johnson and the Juice Crew

If you save the princess Zelda, well, you know you’re gonna grab her

So why don’t you try to come grab my inflatable poo-jabber

(Oh, my God!)

I gotta warp outta here, Princess Zelda awaits

I must defeat Ganondorf before it gets too late

Okay, now I really don’t know where I am

Hold on a minute, Link!

Goddamn it, old man!

You’re in Raccoon City, it’s a zombie abyss

It’s dangerous to go alone, take--

No!

Fuck you!

Fuck you!

I’m not giving you a-

I’m not touching your w-

Stop the chilled out groove!

Geez!

You come in here tellin' me you got a wee-wee weapon

It’s not cool, I’m not gonna touch it, I’m not gonna s-

No!

So is that a no on the handjob, or???

Okay