Xerox Xmas Letter - Ray Stevens

We got a Xerox Christmas letter

From the Sterling family

Seems things in Palm Springs

Are going swimmingly

Their daughters both married doctors

Their son was Yale’s Man of the Year

Chip’s business broke all records

Buffy’s a Red Cross volunteer

We’ve been on their Xerox letter list

For twenty years or more

It’s been that long, at least

Since the Sterlings lived next door

But this year my wife, Lurleen, said

As we were sweeping up the yard

«Let's us send a Xerox letter this year

Instead of a Christmas card!»

Howdy, y’all and Merry Christmas!

Well, we still live in the double-wide

But Bubba’s added on

A bass-boat shed and a workshop

And new flamingos for the lawn

We took down the front yard tire swing

Now that Junior’s in the pen

But it looks like a happy new year:

They moved him off death row again!

Xerox Christmas letters

Oh, nothing could be better

Than to hear from folks you hardly know

Bragging on all they have achieved

Xerox Christmas letters

Yeah, nothing we like better

We read them from the glow

Of our 2-foot aluminum tree

Our youngest is at the halfway house

Once again in the family way

This time the daddy lives beneath the bridge

On the old I-5 freeway

And this year we all took a whirlwind tour

But we didn’t get too far

It happened when a twister touched down

In our trailer park

Xerox Christmas letters

Oh, nothing could be better

Than to hear from folks you hardly know

Bragging on all they have achieved

Xerox Christmas letters

Yeah, nothing we like better

We read them from the glow

Of our 2-foot aluminum tree