The Flies Of Texas Are Upon You - Ray Stevens

Well, the first time I met Mary Lou

I never entertained the thought

Of ever leavin' Cleveland

Ah, but then I kissed her ruby reds

And she whispered in my ear

That her daddy really cleaned up down in Houston

Then she said, «Why not come home with me?»

My nose for opportunity

Just smelled the possibility of bucks

I saw Houston there at my disposal

So I accepted her proposal

And wished my friends in Cleveland lots of luck

But I never dreamed as we were drivin'

Tomorrow I would be arrivin'

To find her daddy owned a fleet of

Garbage trucks

(Now the flies of Texas are upon you)

Yeah, that is what she said, I’m really cleaning up

(Now the flies of Texas are upon you)

Oh, this garbage ain’t my bag, I think I’ve had enough

Now I’m on top of the heap

But as I look around, I realize

This ain’t the kind of heap I was expecting

'Cause I can see di-stink-ly

Mary Lou has found somebody new

And I’ve become what I’m collecting

Yeah, and if I’d known that night she jumped me

That she was only gonna dump me

I’d have never have become a company man

And the next time some girl says to me

«My daddy’s big in Tennessee»

I’ll assume she means that he’s just fat

(Now the flies of Texas are upon you)

Yeah, that is what she said, I’m really cleaning up

(Now the flies of Texas are upon you)

Oh, this garbage ain’t my bag, I think I’ve had enough

Yeah, I guess you could say I’m filthy rich

If you like half-eaten baloney sandwiches

Little balls of tissue paper

Sometimes I feel like a chickpea in a big salad

(Now the flies of Texas are upon you)

Heck, I don’t even have to bring my lunch to work

I can find it, it’s all over me

Look at this, what is this?

Looks like part of a omelet

Ooh, look over there now, there’s some

(Now the flies of Texas are upon you)

Ooh, what is this?

A peanut butter, olive, tomato and spaghetti sandwich

Ooh, somebody read my mind, that’s my favorite

Yeah, I thought I was the only one who liked those

(Now the flies of Texas are upon you)

Yum, yum