The Annual Office Christmas Party - Ray Stevens

It’s the Annual Office Christmas Party\nIn the conference room\nThe Annual Office Christmas Party\nFor ev’ryone from secretaries to tycoons\nJust a casual soiree\nBefore we leave for the holidays\nThe Annual Office Christmas Party\nWe close the doors at noon\n(Hour one) The hour of diplomacy;\nWe drink white wine from holiday cups\n(Hour two) The hour of zoology;\nThat’s when the «party animals"show up\n(Hour three) The hour of decision\nAnd wiser heads decide it’s time to leave\n(Hour four) The hour of «ta heck wit diplomacy!»\nAnd some employees think it’s time to…\nHeave on the boss in his new Armani suit\nRumble 'round the conference room while juggling citrus fruit\nThrow cigarettes in trash cans; cook those little wienies in the flames\nMake passes at a lady who’s filed eight harassment claims…\n(Hey, baby, I let you in on one of… oh!)\nLead a chorus of «We Are the World"while wearing a lampshade\nComplain about the bonus and how poorly we are paid\nBrag how he used his office phones for transatlantic calls\nThe restroom’s occupied but there’s a palm tree in the hall…\n(Well, excuse me!)\n(Five o’clock) The hour of repentance;\nHe begs for his job while down on bended knee\nHe holds the boss' hand and sobs, «Y'know I love ya man»…\nJust before he passes out beneath the Christmas tree.\nIt’s the Annual Office Christmas Party\nIn the conference room\nThe Annual Office Christmas Party\nFor ev’ryone from secretaries to tycoons\nJust a casual soiree\nBefore we leave for the holidays\nThe Annual Office Christmas Party\nWith lots of colorful buffoons\nWe close the doors at noon\nWould somebody please take his keys and drive him home?\nAnd, uh… wait 'til after the holidays to tell him about his transfer to Bosnia.