Home For The Holidays - Ray Stevens

Yes, ma’am. Well, alright. We’ll see you then.

Honey!

We’re goin' home for the holidays

Pack me lots of medication

Home for the holidays

Another dysfunctional celebration

I swore this year, that we’d stay here

And start our own tradition

But when I tried, Momma cried

And brought up Daddy’s heart condition

So we’ll pack the car

Face the maddening throng

The family we’ve successfully

Avoided all year long

There’s insidious Uncle Louie

He’ll be hittin' on all the wives

Crazy Aunt Loretta

This year don’t let her near the knives

And of course we’ll hear

«Mom, he’s in my chair! Make him move! You gave it to me!»

That’ll be my older brother

The doctor of psychiatry

Home for the holidays

Lots of interstate congestion

Home for the holidays

Nervous stress and indigestion

In the sibling rivalry

Mind-numbing conversation

We’re going home for the holidays

All across the nation

You know we’ll have to board the puppy

Yeah, he wouldn’t survive our nephew Dave

I still wake up screaming

Dreaming of last year’s cat in the microwave

Home for the holidays

Pack me lots of medication

Home for the holidays

Another dysfunctional celebration

I swore this year, that we’d stay here

But when I tried, Momma cried

Brought up Daddy’s heart condition

In the sibling rivalry

Mind-numbing conversation

We’re going home for the holidays

All across the nation