Guilt For Christmas - Ray Stevens

I hate Christmas shopping\nIt really makes me wrecked\nEspecially when those gifts\nMust be politically correct\nDon’t give a boy an army\nThat gun could make him vicious\nDon’t give a girl a doll with curls\nShe’ll spend her whole life doing dishes\nGift giving is so complicated\nIt can warp the psyche\nSo I’m sticking with that old standby\nThat fits every little Marge and Mikey\nI’m giving guilt this Christmas\nJust like mother taught me\nIt’s the best, it outlasts\nEverything she ever bought me\nGuilt is a gift that keeps on giving\nYear in and year out\nWhat is Christmas without something\nTo feel bad about\nNo shopping, wrapping, shipping, packing\nTraffic at the mall\nIt goes with any color\nOne size fits all\nMy whole list gets some\nThere’ll be no ommissions\nRemember it’s the thought that counts\nIt’s a family tradition\n(Deck the halls with melancholy!)\nI’m giving guilt this Christmas\nI’ve got it in the millions\nI get it from my folks, my wife\nAnd sometimes from my children\nGuilt is the gift that keeps on giving\nThere seems to be no lack\nI’ve been getting guilt for years\nAnd this year they’ll get it back\nI’ve been getting guilt for years\nAnd this year they’ll get it all back\n(I'm giving guilt for Christmas)