Barbeque - Ray Stevens

There was a fellow named Attila the Hun

A bad news dude, he was strictly no fun

Yeah, he burned down every town from Rome to Kathmandu

Till someone finally said «Hey man, what’s wrong with you?»

He said, «There's somethin' that I’m lookin' for

Somethin' I just can’t get enough of anymore»

I want some barbeque, some barbeque

And when I want it nothin' else will do

Woke up this mornin' at a quarter to two

Just had to have some barbeque

I’m gonna pillage gonna plunder gonna throw myself a fit

Till I get a lil' somethin' for my hickory pit

Bring me some coleslaw, French fries, a pickle or two

And a big ol' mess of barbeque (barbeque!)

I want a big ol' mess of barbeque!

Lord, have mercy!

Well now if you come from Kansas City (Kansas City!)

Alabama or that Georgia state

Tennessee or Carolina, honey, I don’t ever mind

Just as long as you pile them high on my plate

I need some barbeque, barbeque

And when I want it nothin' else will do

Woke up in a cold sweat at a quarter to two

Rolled over, said «Honey, I gotta have some barbeque!»

Now you can slice it, you can chop it, you can gnaw it off the rib

At a time like this, Lord have mercy, put 'em in gear

For some coleslaw, French fries, a pickle or two

And a big ol' mess of barbeque (barbeque!)

I want a big ol' mess of barbeque!

I want some barbeque, barbeque

Oh and when I want it, ain’t nothin' else gonna do

I woke up this mornin' at a quarter to two

And I, I rolled over, and I said:

Baby, honey, if you love me

You slip on that old chenille house coat

And them fluffy slippers

And slide on down to shorty’s all-night hog heaven

And bring me back about five bags of inside lean

Yeah, I want that sauce dribblin' off your elbow

Oh honey, I gotta have it!

Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-barbeque!

I need it!

I’m goin' into a coma here!

I’m faintin' fast!

Ow honey, ow!!!