I Steal Pets - Rachel Bloom

Ohhhh

Yeaaaaah

School is really boring

Can’t wait for the bell to ring

‘Cause tonight I’m hanging with all of my friends!

Gonna party through the night-

Karaoke, pillow fights

The music’s loud, the lights are bright

It never ends

I have so many friends!

‘Cause I steal pets from the popular people and then dress the pets up like the

popular people

I steal pets from the popular people and hide them all in a shed

Yeah!

I steal pets from the popular people and then dress the pets up like the

popular people

I steal pets from the popular people

And lock them in my shed

At school, life can be such a drag

Whitney Jones called me a fag

But her cat ate salmon out of my hand!

I smiled at Michael in the halls

Then he spread rumors I have balls

But I taught his dog to hug on command!

I have so many friends!

Right, dog?!

‘Cause I steal pets from the popular people and then dress the pets up like the

popular people

I steal pets from the popular people and hide them all in a shed

Yeah!

I steal pets from the popular people and then dress the pets up like the

popular people

I steal pets from the popular people

And paint their nails red- take it Cuddles!

Bark bark bark bark bark yeah!

Bark bark bark bark bark yeah!

Bark bark bark bark bark yeah!

Rawrrrrrrr

It’s the seventh grade dance in the shed tonight

And I’m the life of it all

Cats and dogs all groovin' with me

We’re havin' such a ball

I start slow dancing with Greg Mendelsson’s terrier mix

He’s wearing a suit and he has Greg’s eyes

Suddenly

We kiss!

‘Cause I steal pets from the popular people and then dress the pets up like the

popular people

I steal pets from the popular people and hide them all in a shed

Yeah!

I steal pets from the popular people and then dress the pets up like the

popular people

I steal pets from the popular people

My parents both are dead

Boo!

I steal pets from the popular people

(Pets aren’t yours, pets are mine)

Then dress them up like the popular people

(Pets aren’t yours, pets are mine)

Yeah I steal pets from the popular people

(Pets aren’t yours, pets are mine)

And dress them up like the popular people

All of them are mine!

I steal pets, I steal pets, lock them in my shed

I steal peeeeeeeeeeetttttss

Lock them in my shed