Doomfist's Greatest Hit - Dan Bull, Tay Zonday

I’m comin in now

This game’s got a new twist

If you missed it

Let’s do this

I’ll introduce you to the dude gifted

With huge mitts

It’s Doomfist

When the tune shifts

And that boom hits

Then you get smacked

Through bricks flat

So cubist art critics

Are all asking you

«Ooh, who did that?»

Who mixes better metaphors

That are fitting like a glove

If the shoe fits?

Bruv, do you lift?

There’s too many bloos in the queue

Shift

Move it

Or he’ll use his Q

Shift

In two clicks

Your noob pick

Will be a view from the cliffs

On Route 66

It’s a true privilege

He picked you to hit

Every battle galvanizes the powerful

Weakness is a trait we won’t tolerate or allow for

It’s survival of the fittest

Ruling with an iron fist

And pulverizing fools

Who try and resist

Every battle galvanizes those who merit it

Without the winning hand

You’re doomed to go uncredited

It’s survival of the worthy

Gain control over the earth

Those who don’t deserve a role

Are thrown into a world of hurt

Anybody trying to stop his nasty plans

For a piece of the pie

Will catch these hands

In a meteor strike

Don’t need guns

Got these guns

Don’t need reasons

Don’t see a need to be tooled up

He’s crushing any fool

'Til they’re all dust

That isn’t an arm

It’s a school bus

Garnished with the pulled tusks of a walrus

Here’s an announcement

And a mouthful

He’s sure more than a scoundrel

Employed at the Talon council

As a bouncer

And a councillor

Man it’s doubtful

You’re not down for the count

Pound for pound

He’s pounding you out

'Til you’re shouting for someone to help

Don’t look at me

Call somebody else

Running your mouth

You’re running a gauntlet

You’ll get a suddenly sore lip

And a broken nose running like a faucet

So cork it

Or get launched into orbit

Awkward

When the straw poll’s closed

And all’s told

There’s no poor soul

More swole

Punching a borehole

In the north pole

Split your wig fourfold

Warhol

Every battle galvanizes the powerful

Weakness is a trait we won’t tolerate or allow for

It’s survival of the fittest

Ruling with an iron fist

And pulverizing fools

Who try and resist

Every battle galvanizes those who merit it

Without the winning hand

You’re doomed to go uncredited

It’s survival of the worthy

Gain control over the earth

Those who don’t deserve a role

Are thrown into a world of hurt

Straight outta Nigeria

Criteria:

Strike fear in the minds of inferiors

You might experience

Serious harm to your insides and interiors

Period

You might be curious

Why he really doesn’t like gorillas

And it’s quite clearly

Because he was confined for years

In a tight area

By Winston

Now he’s quite furious

Poor Winston

Winston’s sad

And now poor Winston’s mad

He’s been stung bad

Coming in for the world’s biggest fist bump

Sit on that

Big strong lad

With a big strong jab

King Kong in combat

With the chimps

They never should have picked on ak

Do you reckon that they’re gonna live long?

Nah

It’s knuckle crunch time

One size fits all

He won’t be sticking it

Where the sun shines

It’s sore

I saw a rocket punch

That put me off my lunch like

A bunch of fives in a row

That’s a punch line

No other stomach on this planet

With a dozen pack

His guns are cannons

Hooks are savage

Like this kustom track is

Plus he’s black

Not that it matters

I just thought I’d add it

'Cause it was a fact

Such subtle language

Plus a massive knuckle sandwich:

Double damage

Fingers like shovels

Slamming fists down like a shuttle landing

Smashing the toughest skull to fragments

Like they’re dud ceramics

Running up and uppercutting past your buff mechanics

Slapping you so chuffing fast

It’s looking like you’ve up and vanished

Every battle galvanizes the powerful

Weakness is a trait we won’t tolerate or allow for

It’s survival of the fittest

Ruling with an iron fist

And pulverizing fools

Who try and resist

Every battle galvanizes those who merit it

Without the winning hand

You’re doomed to go uncredited

It’s survival of the worthy

Gain control over the earth

Those who don’t deserve a role

Are thrown into a world of hurt