Sultans of Sewing - Dan Bull

Ahem

Let me spin you a little yarn

Weave a tale or two

If you know what I mean

I cut you no slack, this is a bossa nova throwback

Brought to you in association with paramount sew-vac

The local business where snitches can go to get their stitches

Without the need for extortionate medical assistance

Re-read the text, I’ll hide a load of sewing puns

While other rappers are just millin' about, showing guns

If you’re having sewing problems, I feel bad for you, son

I’ve got 99 problems, but a stitch ain’t… one

P-p-paramount

Sewing

P-paramount

P-p-p-paramount

Sewing

P-paramount

You ain’t probably never heard of me

I like to do embroidery

It’s a whole other side of me

You’ve cottoned onto finally

It’s not my fault, the bottom line is

That I’m dressed to jest, it’s prolly best

You swap your polyester vest for the warp and weft

Of a razzle dazzle fab upholstery

Tweed suits like Basil Fawlty

It seems you need to work on your self esteem

You’re acting salty

Grab a haberdashery, then add a dash of me

That’s a fantastic patterned lavish fabric tapestry

Imagine Al Pacino in alpaca chinos

Strollin' out of the casino

Down to paramount cause he knows

His clothes need loads of work

To stay lookin' superior

Who woulda thought that such a notion would be real

But here we are!

Re-read the text, I’ll hide a load of sewing puns

While other rappers are just millin' about, showing guns

If you’re having sewing problems, I feel bad for you, son

I’ve got 99 problems, but a stitch ain’t… one

P-p-paramount

Sewing

P-paramount

P-p-p-paramount

Sewing

P-paramount

Whether made of tweed, fleece, linen, crepe, brocade or knitted

Whatever way I spin these lyrics

I guarantee that they are tailor fitted

To the beat, even if you think I skipped it

I bring that thread back through the needle

On the groove sits in

I’m in the pocket, you’re bobbin' your head

Til I ruffle your feathers

And pull you together, like cotton and thread

Like a dressmaker

My fingers are deft, nimble

No frills, it’s dead simple

I am a thex thimble

The oddest spitter, lyrical bodice ripper

Not cause I’m hot, but cause I can’t undo the bloody zipper

Do me a favor, would you, buddy?

Run and get the scissors

But don’t run back with them

Or you’ll be cut to bloody ribbons

Re-read the text, I’ll hide a load of sewing puns

While other rappers are just millin' about, showing guns

If you’re having sewing problems, I feel bad for you, son

I’ve got 99 problems, but a stitch ain’t… one

Re-read the text, I’ll hide a load of sewing puns

While other rappers are just millin' about, showing guns

If you’re having sewing problems, I feel bad for you, son

I’ve got 99 problems, but a stitch ain’t… one

P-p-paramount

Sewing