The Cringe - Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast, Patton Oswalt

Some people are scared of goblins and ghosts

They shriek at a raven perched on a post

«Oh no!"they cry, «It's a spooky black cat!»

But there are so many things far more frightening than that

Like when I asked a woman I hadn’t seen in a while

How long she’d been pregnant, and there went her smile

Turns out she’d just gained weight.

«I'm so sorry,"I said

And when that memory fills me with horror and dread

I do the cringe!

Ugggh!

I do the cringe!

Ooooh!

More than a twinge

The thought leaves me aghast

Because nothing is as scary as what lurks in your past

Banshees and ghouls can give a good fright

But that’s not what keeps me up at night

I think about that time in bed with my ex

When I chuckled at his penis during sex

She does the cringe

It was a full-blown laugh

She does the cringe

It looked like a cute little puppet

She does the cringe

He went soft and cried

And that was the night their relationship died!

I told a date I lost my wallet so she would pay

I hooked up with the bassist of Sugar Ray

I got an angel tattoo on my upper thigh

I gave my mother’s eulogy completely high

See, everyone has sins they want to wash away

I came up with the town motto: «Live.

Work.

Play.»

We do the cringe

It was not my best work

We do the cringe

In fairness, I was also high

We do the cringe

Regret can be a blast

But nothing is as funky as what lurks in your past

Cringe dance!

Stupid!

Stupid!

Stupid!

Stupid!

Aaaaah!

We all have skeletons

Real and metaphorically

Wait, aren’t you the guy who murdered me?

What?

Nothing!

Cringe!