Read It in the Tabloids - Bob Rivers

I bet you’re wondering how I knew

That Prince Charles and Lady Di were through

Was waiting in line at the grocery store

Took a peek at the dirt about Demi Moore

And it took me by surprise I must say

When I found out the Pope was gay

I read it in the tabloids

Elvis Presley’s doing just fine

They put it in the tabloids

Got a look at Fergi’s boobs, my my

Honey, honey, yeah

You know JFK didn’t really die

They got a picture and he looks all right

And Ross Perot’s hanging out with ET

This woman had a kid at a hundred and three

And you could have seen it all for yourself

'Cause it’s right there upon the shelf

Oh, I read it in the tabloids

You know Madonna used to be a boy

I saw it in the tabloids

Right next to a cure for hemorrhoids

Honey, honey, yeah