Bar Mitzvah Boy - Adam Sandler

Thirteenth birthday

People come from far away

Aunts and uncles show up

I brush my fro up

Feeling skittish

People speaking Yiddish

Buy a three-piece suit and tie

Tailor’s hanging on my thigh

Practice for the whole year

Paralyzed with fear

Hebrew flashcards on my walls

Voice is changing, dropped my balls

Dad’s mad at the cost

Too bad Mom’s the boss

Grandmas are full of joy

For the Bar Mitzvah boy

(Bar Mitzvah boy)

Bar Mitzvah boy

(Bar Mitzvah boy)

Bar Mitzvah boy

(Bar Mitzvah boy)

Bar Mitzvah boy

(Bar Mitzvah boy)

Okay, up on the podium

Staring out at everyone

Can’t remember how it goes

Whistle from my rabbi’s nose

Oh, man, this is it

Make up some crazy shit

Baruch atah, a cha-cha-cha

Everybody says, «Good job»

Now I’m done, sweet relief

Lipstick on Mama’s teeth

Catholic friends all ask me this

«What the fuck is a knish?»

Kids are all coming in

Checks and bonds and fountain pens

Make a bank deposit

Make out in the closet

He’s the Bar Mitzvah boy

(Bar Mitzvah boy)

Bar Mitzvah boy

(Bar Mitzvah boy)

Bar Mitzvah boy

(Bar Mitzvah boy)

Bar Mitzvah boy

(Bar Mitzvah boy)

The rabbi does the Electric Slide

Grandma’s ass is six feet wide

Party music never stops

All my friends drinking schnapps

Boys are short, girls are tall

Pass me the alcohol

Chug as much as I can

Vomit on the klezmer band

Mom and Dad yell at me

Disgrace my family

But I’m a man, so I don’t care

Got my first mustache hair

I’m the Bar Mitzvah boy

(Bar Mitzvah boy)

Bar Mitzvah boy

(Bar Mitzvah boy)

Bar Mitzvah boy

(Bar Mitzvah boy)

Bar Mitzvah boy

(Bar Mitzvah boy)

And it’s the best day of my life

Until three years later

When my parents stop making me go to temple

Very nice, ladies and gentlemen, thanks