Poops I'll Pick Up - Tituss Burgess, Leslie Odom, Jr.

Around four?

Since yesterday

What?!

We need to get this dog returned as quickly as possible so people stop

tearing up my park

Wait!

Dad, can we sidebar?

I have a totally unrelated question

You know how you’ve always said we should get a dog?

I’ve never said that in my life, Cole

I know it looks like dog-napping behavior

But trust me dad, I’m this furry guy’s savior

Trapped up in the tower with only Bitsy to nuzzle

Shampagne is like- a way better Rapunzel

And it’s not like I took him, if anything he took me

He took my breath away when he was taking a pee

Putting aside, this is probably against the law

That’s just a tiny flaw

Son, you can’t have a dog

Let me keep this dog and I will never not walk him

I know that’s a double negative but I’m smart and

I’ll take him to the veterinarian when he’s ill

I’ll get some peanut butter to help him swallow his pill

Right now, he’s a lapdog in the lap of luxury

But he shouldn’t be cooped up

He should be out there running free

Look at his eyes, can’t you see that he’s sad, man?

I’ll clean up his poops

You can call me Mr. Bag Hands

Mr. Bag Hands?

When he poops, I’ll pick it up

You’ll pick it up?

I’ll pick it up

When he poops, I’ll pick it up

No, you won’t

I will, I love that dog

Son, we gotta think about the consequence

What if we are sent to doggy jail for this?

Can’t keep this dog

Papa, I believe this puppy’s heaven-sent

I promise to pick up his every excrement

He has a home

We have to give him back

I’ll take good care of him

We’ve been discussing that

We can’t keep him

That’s not part of the plan

We have to keep him

He makes me wanna be a better man

Please, Dad!

When he poops, I’ll pick it up

No

I’ll pick it up

When he poops, I’ll pick it up

Not that it matters, but no, you won’t

I love that dog

Son, we gotta think about the consequence

What if we are sent to doggy jail for this?

Can’t keep this dog

Papa, I believe this puppy’s heaven-sent

I promise to pick up his every excrement

(spoken)

All right, so it’s settled.

We’re keeping him

No, it seems like he’s gonna be really great to have around

No

He’s my best friend

Doesn’t matter

I love you, dad

I love you too, Son

We’re not keeping the dog