I Can Make You a Man - Tim Curry

A weakling, weighing ninety-eight pounds

Will get sand in his face when kicked… to the ground

And soon in the gym, with a determined chin

The sweat from his pores, as he works for his cause

Will make him glisten and gleam

And with massage and just a little bit of steam

He’ll be pink and quite clean!

He’ll be a strong man!

But the wrong man!

He’ll eat nutritious, high protein and swallow raw eggs

Try to build up his shoulders, his chest, arm, and legs

Such an effort.

If he only knew of my plan!

In just seven days, I can make you a man!

He’ll do press-ups and chin-ups

Do the snatch, clean and jerk

He thinks dynamic tension

Must be hard work!

Such strenuous living

I just don’t understand!

When in just seven days, I can make you a man!