It Kills Me to Have to Be Alive - The Smith Street Band

Something about the summer

I didn’t cope with well

And every time I walked in this room

In the same spot, tripped and fell

And I check my spit for blood

And I do not call enough

I spill my guts for money

But you don’t find my jokes that funny

There’s something in the tone of my voice

That makes you question everything I say

And I will never learn to just shut my mouth

And bury things our parents' way

And you said that I should quit what I fear

And I know I just wanted it to be my idea

And you said that I do not exist

And I know at least now we agree on it

And I’ll keep telling myself

That I’m not just here for everyone else

Make plans for birthdays

That I don’t care if I celebrate

And I’m sorry that I can’t be

What everybody wants from me

I do not feel that I am loved

But I do not reach out enough

But I’m reaching up

And I’ll let this all fall down around me

Yeah, I’ll let this all fall down around me

Yeah, I’ll let this all fall down around me

And I’ll fail but at least I’ll try

It’s the most I can hope for most of the time

It kills me to have to be alive

It is killing me to have to be alive