The Old Dun Cow - The Futureheads

Tom Brown and I in the local pub

Were playing dominos one night

When all of a sudden in the postman rushed

His face all chalky white

«Hey what’s up?», said Brown, «Have you seen a ghost?

Have you seen your Aunty Mariah?»

«Well, me Aunt Mariah be blown», said he

«The bloody pub’s on fire!»

Oh, there was Brown upside down

He was moppin' up the whisky on the floor

«Booze, booze!»

the firemen cried

As they came knockin' at the door

Don’t let them 'in til it’s all mopped up

Somebody shouted MacIntyre!

(MACINTYRE!)

And we all got blue-blind paralytic drunk

When the Old Dun Cow caught fire

«On fire!»

says Brown, «What a bit of luck

Everybody follow me

Down in the cellar

Where the fire isn’t there

We will have a gay old spree.»

So we all went down with good old Brown

The beer we could not miss

And we hadn’t been but ten minutes there

'til we were bloody pissed

Oh, there was Brown upside down

He was moppin' up the whisky on the floor

«Booze, booze!»

the firemen cried

As they came knockin' at the door

Don’t let them 'in til it’s all mopped up

Somebody shouted MacIntyre!

(MACINTYRE!)

And we all got blue-blind paralytic drunk

When the Old Dun Cow caught fire

Oh Jones did rush, to the port wine tub

And gave it just a few hard knocks

Started takin' off his pantaloons

Likewise his shoes and socks

«Hey, what’s up?, «said Brown, «If you want to wash your feet

There’s a tub of booze down here

Don’t wash your trousers in the port wine tub

When we theres lots of Carling lager beer.»

Oh, there was Brown upside down

He was moppin' up the whisky on the floor

«Booze, booze!»

the firemen cried

As they came knockin' at the door

Don’t let them in 'til it’s all mopped up

Somebody shouted MacIntyre!

(MACINTYRE!)

And we all got blue-blind paralytic drunk

When the Old Dun Cow caught fire

All of a sudden there’s a bloody big bang

And half the flamin' roof gave away

And we were drowned in the firemen’s hose

But were all still going gay

So we got some tacks and some old tin scraps

And boarded ourselves inside

And we kept on drinking good old Scotch

'til we were bleary-eyed

Oh, there was Brown upside down

He was moppin' up the whisky on the floor

«Booze, booze!»

the firemen cried

As they came knockin' at the door

Don’t let them 'in til it’s all mopped up

Somebody shouted MacIntyre!

(MACINTYRE!)

And we all got blue-blind paralytic drunk

When the Old Dun Cow caught fire