The Valiant Conscript - Tennessee Ernie Ford

How are you boys?

I’m just from camp and feel as brave as Caesar

The sound of bugle, drum and fife has raised my Ebeneezer

I’m full of fight, odd shots and shell and leap into the saddle

And when the yankees see me come, Lord how they will skedaddle

Hold your head up Shanghai shanks, don’t shake your knees and blink so

It’s no time to dodge the act, brave comrades don’t you think so

I was a plow boy in the field, a gawking, lazy, dodger

When came the conscript officer and took me for a soldier

He put a musket in my hands and showed me how to fire it

I marched and counter marched all day, Lord how I did admire it

Hold your head up Shanghai shanks, don’t shake your knees and blink so

It’s no time to dodge the act, brave comrades don’t you think so

With corn and hog fat for my food, a digging, guarding, drilling

I got as thin as twice skimmed milk and scarcely worth the killing

And now I’m used to homely fare, my skin’s as tough as leather

I do guard duty cheerfully in every kind of weather

'Tis true I have not seen a fight, nor have I smelt gunpowder

But then the way I’ll pepper them will be a sin to chowder

A sergeant’s stripes I now will sport, perhaps be color bearer

And then a captain, good for me, I’ll be a regular terror

I’ll then begin to wear the stars and then the wreathes of glory

Until the army I command and poets sing my story

Our congress will pass votes of thanks to him who rose from zero

The people in a mass will shout, hurrah behold the hero

Hold your head up Shanghai shanks, don’t shake your knees and blink so

It’s no time to dodge the act, brave comrades don’t you think so

What’s that?

Oh dear a boiler burst, a gas pipe has exploded

Maybe the yankees are hard by with muskets ready loaded

Oh gallant soldiers beat them back, I’ll join you in the frolic

But I’ve a chill from head to foot and symptoms of the colic

Hold your head up Shanghai shanks, don’t shake your knees and blink so

It’s no time to dodge the act, brave comrades don’t you think so

It’s no time to dodge the act, brave comrades don’t you think so