The Story of Lucy and Jessie - Stephen Sondheim

Here’s a little story that should make you cry

About two unhappy dames

Let us call them Lucy «X» and Jessie «Y»

Which are not their real names

Now Lucy has the purity

Along with the unsurety

That comes with being only twenty-one

Jessie has maturity

And plenty of security

Whatever you can do with them she’s done

Given their advantages

You may ask why

The two ladies have such grief

This is my belief

In brief:

Lucy is juicy

But terribly drab

Jessie is drssy

But cold as a slab

Lucy wants to be dressy

Jessi wants to be juicy

Lucy wants to be Jessie

And Jessie Lucy

You see

Jessie is racy

But hard as a rock

Lucy is lacy

But dull as a smock

Jessie wants to be lacy

Lucy wants to be Jessie

That’s the sorrowful précis

It’s very messy

Poor, sad souls

Itching to be switching roles

Lucy wants to do what Jessie does

Jessie wants to be what Lucy was

Now if you see Lucy «X»

Youthful, truthful Lucy «X»

Let her know she’s better than she suspects

Now if you see Jessie «Y»

Faded, jaded Jessie «Y»

Tell her that she’s sweller than apple pie

Juicy Lucy

Dressy Jessie

Juicy Lucy

Dressy Jessie

Lucy’s a lassie

You pat on the head

Jessie is classy

But virtually dead

Lucy wants to be classy

Jessie wants to be Lassie

If Lucy and Jessie could only combine

I could tell you someone

Who would finally feel just fine

Juicy Lucy

Just fine

Dressy Jessie

Just fine

Juicy Lucy

Just fine

Dressy Jessie

Tell them that they ought to get together quick

'Cause getting it together is the whole trick!

Yeah!