C.H.A.P.S. - Rushden & Diamonds

«There, that, I believe, does it.»

«Well I’m only trying to help!»

«Huh huh, I wonder.»

«Perfect fit sire.

Most becoming.

You look regal, dignified, sincere, masterful,

noble, chivalorous -»

«Ah, ah: don’t overdo it»

Coulda had a polo, son

How come these trousers' buttons keep coming undone?

Low quality, line designed, department store issued

Boxed and wrapped in tissue

If you happen to buy a pair

A debonair choice if you want a Rolls Royce

But all you can afford to use are cords?

You’ll be so ignored

But that’s why Ralph made a clothing line just for you the average man

Since you know we’re never going to rent that

Though they’re never, ever, ever gonna get that

Would an o.g.

hate it if we bit that

Told me if a girl won’t admit that

Ask an old hand, «mother did you knit that

Coz we’re never, ever, ever gonna fit that?

Our friends won’t allow us to permit that

Rudder when we don’t wear chaps»

That’s right we hate those chaps

Our own leap off the polo with those dealer fitted slacks

Cut a cheaper fabric with some tracks on wax

That’s common people shopping at the store to the Max

-imillian trophies and GRATs and plaques

But never in my teeth so the perfect can relax

Fit in this clothing even though i’ve eaten too many snacks

That’s far too many lamb racks

Yes some’ll rock the Perry Ellis dressed in corduroy

We be shopping in the Metro Council on the smack a buoy

I’m gonna get that sporting jacket swinging like a tennis racquet

Probably oughtn’t have it, but man I’ve got to have it

We take it over stretched limousines to the bay

Hip, hip, hooray we be popping Chardonnay

Yes the fans pay for our company, combined with

The gift vouchers discovered for today

Since you know we’re never going to rent that

Though they’re never, ever, ever gonna get that

Would an O.G.

hate it if we bit that

Told me if a girl won’t admit that

Ask an old hand, «mother did you knit that

Coz we’re never, ever, ever gonna fit that?

Our friends won’t allow us to permit that

Rudder when we don’t wear chaps»

Different fashions out of wear

Shall a nobleman compare?

Is the quality the same?

Au contraire

But they give a subtle two a common air

See our friends hate som when uploading ordinary things

For the common-ass man who will never spread his wings

As a member of the Knights Templar I just keep it debonair

Only shop at the boutiques and a couple of bizarre bazaars

So rich I threw Abercrombie in a ditch

That bloody Fitch?

Ha, he’s a little bitch

I sport Gant in the plates and cuff pants

I’d rock Mark Soley but the game’s far too elegant

Like ella fie (?) my composition’s formed in perfect keys

Suspending Jesus, swiping credit cards and Gotti tees

Colonies, please, I know you want to look like me, ha ha ha

Timeless style I like my clothing made to measure

The centreplate in my armour was a falcon pleasure

So have your leather I still rock the spot without a doubt

Exuding clout when I break it down I twist and shout

Beauteous babes claim my dress so frivolous

I disagree: for the nob this privileged

My mission is education for the man

Martiniques, Bon Marche, I’m the revisionist