Hella Fights at the Crib - Reconcile

I said I wasn’t gonna write this but I feel Iike it could help somebody

Yeah, uh

I love my pops but my hair don’t brush the same

Sixteen, my momma heavy in the trailer, yeah

Sixteen, two kids, that’s hella pain

She’s sixteen, he can’t afford it

Momma told her to abort it

Thank God that wasn’t the story, yeah

When I’m runnin', ain’t no starve, yeah

Half-white, I was born losin', lost half of my family

And I ain’t even choosin'

In the trailer, I was hangin' with Guatemalans

When my cousin started seein' all the poverty

My momma cheat, my daddy cold, he beat his kids up

My momma leave, my daddy leave, they leave the kids, yeah

I told the doctor that I fell on the table like it was comin'

DCF came to the crib, we lied, said ain’t no problems

Ain’t tellin' they be fightin', cuttin' off the lights

I watch my momma stab my daddy in the side with a knife

I be wantin' to leave and run away, I wanna die

Could you spare me some advice?

'Cause it’s a lot, too much for eyes, yeah

I wanna die

'Cause it’s a lot so could you spare me some advice?

Hella drama at the crib, yeah

(Fear fightin' at the crib, I did something)

Street fightin' at the crib, yeah

(When they came at me, I ain’t wanna live)

I was tryin' a little hard, I was goin' through it

All the pressure, all the pain, I ain’t really wanna live

Fear fightin' at the crib, yeah

Make 'em wanna quit hard, let them fight for this

Pop Warner, I was playin' for the Rebels on the Peewee

My momma was cheatin' on the same field we was playin'

My pops tried to kill him, but they was cheatin' right and left

She never left her life, but I couldn’t swallow how she left

Told the dude with some money, left her kids in the process

My daddy got to my dome

I should have known all the things that he told me when I was twelve years old,

made me hate her

He made me choose sides and it was grimy

We was walkin' home from school and my little sister cryin'

I was fightin' at school and spent years in suspension

Got kicked, got jawed, started stealin', gettin' with it

(Nah, I ain’t still gettin' with it)

When I got home, he would beat us, my pops worked at the jail

Told me, «Strip» and beat my ass, handcuffed me to the rails, yeah

I wanna get away, I feel this gravity

Beat me with his belt until I’m grabbin' it

My momma gone, my daddy got these women in the crib

They be movin' in and they kids

For a second, then it end

Care about nothin' but playin' ball

And my momma didn’t call, so I don’t really wanna talk

My daddy losin' me, I got no respect for him

We’re beefin' every day

The school callin' and now the drama brewin'

I hate my house, I want out, I stay out late

I come home and ain’t no food in the fridge, nobody ate

Tenth grade, we was fightin', then he kicked me to the streets

I was young, I was dumb, full of anger, dead to me

Spit in my face, threw my clothes in the yard

I got to steppin'

Lived with my grandma, I got to steppin'

Hella drama at the crib, yeah (Ooh)

Street fightin' in the crib, yeah (Ooh)

I was tryin' a little hard, I was goin' through it

All the pressure, all the pain, I ain’t really wanna live

Fear fightin' at the crib, yeah

Make 'em wanna quit hard, let them fight for this

Fast-forward, I’m a father, still got anger inside

I love my kids and I don’t ever want to see them hate me

But I’ve got ways like my daddy and it frustrates me

All I see was broken relationships

Now me and my wife strugglin'

Will we make the decisions they made or learn from them?

I grew up without a God, how could I leave Him out now?

I feel empty without him, what would I ever go that route?

Pride got me in my feelings, fightin' and arguin'

Being hard for no reason, ti-tic-tac arguments

Bein' selfish, I swear I got no room to judge

That mirror get foggy, can’t see myself or feel the love

And I hurt hella people in the process

Fightin' for the piece that gives my soul joy

God, be the difference that makes me different

I told my wife I got things I might never share

I don’t want what I grew up in, but we headin' there

I know my daughter hear and see it at all

I don’t want her to witness what I went through

Or what I did

But I can’t lie, I be failin'

This joint hard

Is that the reason why my momma left?

All this frustration, is that the reason why my daddy is?

I know God can help us together but how you make that real?

Gotta fight the steel floor, I wanna make that real

My momma’s here

And what you do with the love that you gave me?

You forgave me and brought Hilly

And saw me in live in it