You Can't Fool the Fat Man - Randy Newman

Sittin' with the fat man

Tryin' to get a loan

Talkin' about horses

And the women that we’ve known

He was spittin' on the sidewalk

Squintin' into the sun

Greetin' all the people

Smilin' at everyone

I said «Hey, listen, Fat Man

I just can’t get a break

Must I pay my whole life long

For just one mistake?

«My brother’s in the armed forces

My sister is in jail,

Won’t you give me fifty dollars

So I can pay her bail?»

He said «You Can’t Fool The Fat Man

No, you can’t fool me You’re just a two-bit griftet

And that’s all you’ll ever be»