Grandpa's Grave (From "Peter and Sophia") - Peter Sellers, Sophia Loren

They’re moving father’s grave to build a sewer

They’re moving it regardless of expense

They’re moving his remains to lay down

nine-inch drains

To irrigate some rich bloke’s residence

Now what’s the use of having a religion?

If when you’re dead you cannot get some peace

'Cause some society chap wants a pipeline to his

tank

And moves you from your place of rest and peace…

Now father in his life was not a quitter

And I’m sure that he’ll not be a quitter now

And in his winding sheet, he will haunt that privy

seat

And only let them go when he’ll allow

Now won’t there be some bleedin' consternation,

And won’t those city toffs begin to rave

But it’s no more than they deserve, 'cause they had

the bleedin' nerve

To muck about a British workman’s grave