Luigi - MC Chris

I’m just a plumber

Bummin' in the shadow of my brother

Clean your house of cobwebs

Any present I can plunder

I’m a little nervous

Afraid of dark rooms and dark moons

Suck up spirits with my vacuum

My mustache gets mad poon

I’m the guy in green

I can jump higher than the others

Not a hater, I’m good natured

Not easily angered like my brother

Who has strangely gone missing

For what seems like the second time

I was eating cookies and milk

Now I’m fucking filthy with slime

Professor Elva needs my helping

In the valley evershade

I collect in a clever way

Because I’m never paid

Professor prefers the paranormal

Always seeking out the truth

I quiver lots and his liver spots

Tingle at his single tooth

He hooks me up with hunting gear

Repurposed household items

A vacuum and a flashlight

Doesn’t change the fact I’m frightened

My brother’s chasing girls

In sunny worlds, he’s dedicated

Never prepared for sliding stairs

Always scared and pixelated

A manor and a mansion

A tower and a mine

A clock with mummies underneath

A fleet of freaks to find

Ghosts that once had eyes

Are no longer pacified

I have to try, that’s my life

But it’s the kind that’s asinine

I’m just a plumber

Bummin' in the shadow of my brother

Clean your house of cobwebs

Any present I can plunder

I’m a little nervous

Afraid of dark rooms and dark moons

Suck up spirits with my vacuum

My mustache gets mad poon

Spooky as fuck mansions

Gloomy Tut tombs

Make a mustache man

Sadly miss mushrooms

Once pursued on a cube

By a room full of Boos

Now I’m held in your hands

Like a damn vacuum

Back to the lab

Where I get graded on ghosts

They’re put in a vault-

It’s my fault, I suppose

Then back to the map

It’s macabre and malignant

Rob me of my dignity

These imps are indignant

So many pesky poltergeists

Pugnacious and persistent

Afraid of spiders, plants and mice

Not toads they’re my assistants

This creepy crib is lucrative

I suck up cash and hearts

Still stead losin', getting bruised

Wish I was cruising in my kart

I’m just a plumber

Bummin' in the shadow of my brother

Clean your house of cobwebs

Any present I can plunder

I’m a little nervous

Afraid of dark rooms and dark moons

Suck up spirits with my vacuum

My mustache gets mad poon

Didn’t ask for the secret passage

I fear forbidden zones

Polterpups instead of 1-Ups

If I find the hidden bones

Wish I could 'Ciao' but for now

I’m wanted in a haunted house

I’d rather be a racoon

Or a cat that says, «Meow!»

No teammates 'cept my boss

Who’s a little off his rocker

I’m all alone inside his home

Except for several stalkers

They hide in suits of armor

They rest in chests and drawers

Their abetting’s got me sweating

It’s upsetting to my pores

An explorer’s expansive mansion

Is where the tension builds

His exhibits make me livid

Rather hide than ride these thrills

Been in jungles, been in deserts

I’ve seen Mammoths on the ice

Seens sights out of sight

'Till I used my dark light device

The crew has got a king

He’s the type that likes lightning strikes

Put my brother in a painting

No more fainting, time to fight

This boss battle has me rattled

I’m determined to succeed

I’m through with this abuse

Now I choose to take the lead

I’m just a plumber

Bummin' in the shadow of my brother

Clean your house of cobwebs

Any present I can plunder

I’m a little nervous

Afraid of dark rooms and dark moons

Suck up spirits with my vacuum

My mustache gets mad poon