Pity the Poor Night Porter - Maddy Prior

Pity the poor night porter

When the band comes to town

Calling for refreshments

Ham and Cheese all round

Pity the poor night porter

When the road crew comes in

Calling for refreshments

Whisky, beer and gin

He’s sleeping in the corner

Hoping that the bell won’t ring

It’s been ringing for an hour

He can’t hear a thing

His ears are stopped, his nose is blocked

The heating’s up to high

The window sills are all nailed up

The air is bone dry

Pity the poor night porter

When the band comes to town

Calling for refreshments

Ham and Cheese all round

Pity the poor night porter

When the road crew comes in

Calling for refreshments

Whisky, beer and gin

He’s a quiet man in a quiet suit

Well liked by his friends

A man that never borrows

And a man that never lends

Five kids in rented digs

Alice for a wife

He took a job at night

To earn a quiet life

Pity the poor night porter

When the band comes to town

Calling for refreshments

Ham and Cheese all round

Pity the poor night porter

When the road crew comes in

Calling for refreshments

Whisky, beer and gin

No lift, late shift

Working overtime

No tip, all lip

Tacky pantomime

Two stars, no bars

Prohibition comedy

He’d give you anything you want

But the waiter took the key

Pity the poor night porter

When the band comes to town

Calling for refreshments

Ham and Cheese all round

Pity the poor night porter

When the road crew comes in

Calling for refreshments

Whisky, beer and gin