Last Man On Earth - Loudon Wainwright III

In the year 2000 my age was 53

Born in the first half of the last century

I always was post-modern but that’s ancient history

Now I’m the last man on Earth

That’s what the matter is with me

I guess I’m old fashioned, retro to a degree

You could say I’m a throw-back, anachronistically

Air conditioning is here to stay

And that makes me unhappy

'Cause I’m the last man on Earth

That’s what the matter is with me

I don’t have a portfolio, I gotta plead guilty

The best things are the worthless now

That’s just because they’re free

And if your not a millionaire yet

Boy, you better be

Now, I’m the last man on Earth

That’s what the matter is with me

I should be optimistic

And go buy some bonds and stocks

They’ll find a cure for cancer soon

We may get trigger-locks

Existence is no picnic as statistics all have shown

We learn to live together and then we die alone

Everybody’s got a website but that’s all Greek to me

I don’t own a computer, I hate that letter «E»

I don’t pack a cell phone or drive an SUV

Yes, I’m the last man on Earth

That’s what the matter is with me

I’m the last man standing

Save the last dance for me

I’ve taken the last train to Clarksville

I’m the fifth monkey

Nice guys always finish last

No one’s nicer than me

Yeah, I’m the last man on Earth

That’s what the matter is with me

Kid’s used to say their prayers at night

Before they went to bed

St. John told us that God is love

Nietzsche said he was dead

This thing we call existence

Who knows what it all means?

Time and Life and People

Are just glossy magazines

I sat and watched those guys

Debate each other on TV

Politicians, wrestlers

They’re all the same to me

Hey, I don’t give a damn

Which idiot runs this country

Since I’m the last man on Earth

It don’t matter to me

In the year 2000, my age was 53

I know that I’m grumpy, middle-aged crazy

But if you are a woman

You might have to sleep with me

Since I’m the last man on Earth

And I can guarantee

I’m the last man on Earth

And there ain’t nothing wrong with me