Heaven - Loudon Wainwright III

There’ll be lots of drinking in Heaven

Smoking and eating and sex

What you didn’t do in this life, bad for you

Will be totally cool in the next

In Heaven there’ll be beer for breakfast

At lunch it’s tequila and wine

And the soup served with dinner is made with paint thinner

And the morning hereafter feels fine, Oh…

Good behavior will get you to heaven

It’s Beulah Land, that’s where you’re bound

But nobody makes nice up there in paradise

When you get up there then you get down

And the angels have ashtrays in Heaven

Saint Peter puffs on a cigar

That’s right smoking’s allowed, it’s what makes all those clouds

And you don’t have to sit at the bar, Oh…

And they eat all day long up in Heaven

And nobody ever gets fat

No, not one calorie and the ice cream is free

It comes in a pint, quart, or a vat

And it’s just one big orgy in Heaven

And nobody ever says «no»

And it’s front, sideways, back, and you start to lose track

But you don’t lose your get up and go, Oh…

There’ll be lots of drinking in Heaven

Smoking and eating and sex

What you didn’t do in this life, bad for you

Will be totally cool in the next

In Heaven there’ll be beer for breakfast

At lunch it’s Sambuca and wine

The gazpacho with dinner is made with paint thinner

And the morning hereafter feels fine!