At Both Ends - Loudon Wainwright III

In Paris, France you know it’s ooh-la-la

They got the bottle of wine, they got the old Marais

In Dublin town they’re gonna tip a few

Of that angry land’s thick black brew

Lone Star has no substitute

T for Texas, Toke, and Toot

It’s a shame and it’s a scandal

The way he burns the candle

The way he burns the candle at both ends

Only twenty four of them in one day

You can’t sleep the valuable hours away

Jailbait under twenty one

Illegal and unwholesome fun

Who needs love, who wants romance?

I wanna eat your underpants

And it’s a shame and it’s a scandal

The way he burns the candle

The way he burns the candle at both end

You know the boy is a rake, the boys is a roamer

The boys’s strung out and the boy’s hungover

There is no way the boy can disguise

The brown fingertips and the bloodshot eyes

Now the boys’s in a sorry state

It even hurts to urinate

Whoa, it’s a shame and it’s a scandal

The way he burns the candle

The way he burns the candle at both ends

At thirty five his wind is shot

He can’t climb stairs and he can’t get hot

At forty-five he’s all burned out

His teeth and his hair are falling out

At fifty-five he’s in his bed

He’s finished — one day he’s dead

He was shame, he was a scandal

The way he burned the candle

The way he burned the candle at both ends

At both ends…