Drive - Lost Girls

Dear so and so…

How small I am on the highways

And on the plains, in the cars and in the malls

Through the speakers of foreign places, unknown spaces

Surrounded by vast expanse or whatever

And a shifting entourage of men

I’m always lighter, smaller, less hairy, more delicate

A sex-less body, a sex, just a little less body

Nothing is really mine here

The car and equipment it’s all rented

I keep buying coffee, water and weird sweaters

Just to own something

And sometimes I feel like I’m still when I’m moving, you know?

Even on stage I rage without moving

I see it in a Youtube video

Look!

There my arm lifts

And then sort of instantly get self-concious

And starts falling back, down

Sort of sees itself and then retracts

As if saying for me

«She's so sorry, she’s so sorry»

With my entire body «She's so sorry»

I rest my forehead on the side window

Protecting my desire

The van does the drive for me

The van does the drive for me

We all do the same, each of us hidding, curled up

Like woollen girls with headphones guided by voices

I would never tell you this but sometimes

When I listen to music in my headphones

The voice I’m listening to is my own

And some of those times I cry

Later I wake up to leaves hurling themselves

At the windscreen, and on stage I feel my body straighten

It’s not that I’ve found anything new, or anything

But… not that is original, but… I’ve got this feeling

All I want to do now is to make everybody cry

I want you all to cry with me

I want us all to cry together!

To let loose, to let go of ourselves

In the empty clubs and on the dancefloors

On the parking lots, on the highways

And through the speakers…

But what am I saying?

«I want you all to cry with me?»

Isn’t that just manipulation?

Am I just standing here doing exactly what

The big mainstream movies are doing?

Exactly what the big arena concerts are doing?

In the films when someone’s kissing at the end?

Or there’s an explosion?

Just there

To manipulate you to feel something

And when they bring down the kissing in the rain

Or the violins, and you’re feeling something

But you don’t know why

Or let me rephrase that, you’re feeling something

But you don’t know who you are

Am I just that?

There must be something else!

Let us call this what it really is, it’s just «my desire»

Because if we don’t, we’re just stuck in this manipulation

Because I’m saying this to you

And because I’m standing on a stage higher up than you

Then, I’m somehow more important

And can make you feel something, and I know it

And manipulate it, but I just want to show you things!

Here, here, here

Because if I’m not doing that, then, if nobody’s doing that

If we are all just working with manipulation

Then all we have as audiences are those moments

When we don’t know who we are

And if we are like that, then tell me

Who does your feeling?

Hello, my name is Desire, but that’s not a girl’s name