Lumbered - Lonnie Donegan

You’ve been landed in the.

cart

But I’ve found a new one better than the rest

It’s a little word called lumbered

And I speaks it from the 'eart

When it comes to getting' lumbered, I’m the best

I get l-u-m-b-e-r-e-d lumbered

It’s enough to drive a fella round the bend

Once I found a four leafed clover

And a lorry ran me over

So you see I still got lumbered in me end

Like the time I crossed a gypsy’s palm with silver

And she said «There's a stranger in your life»

I got l-u-m-b-e-r-e-d lumbered

'Cos the stranger caught me with his wife

I get l-u-m-b-e-r-e-d lumbered

Once I won two hundred thousand on the pools

So I handed in me ticket

Told the foreman where to stick it

And I told him that includes me bag of tools

Then I bought meself an 'aase in Monte Carlo

(Ahem, house)

I was puttin' on me suit to catch the boat

When I found that I’d been well and truly lumbered

'Cos the coupon was still in me coat

If I ever get me hands upon the idiot who wrote

«Into every life a little rain must fall»

I shall take his book of poems and I’ll stuff 'em up his throat

'Cos it seems to me as though I get it all

I get l-u-m-b-e-r-e-d lumbered, yeah!

And my luck with women’s just too rough for words

On a foursome or a twosome

Guess who gets the one that’s gruesome

Me address book’s full of really ugly birds

But one day I met a lovely little darlin'

'Bout the only bit of luck I’ve ever had

I took 'er 'ome to meet the family and got lumbered

'Cos me darlin' ran off with me dad

I get l-u-m-b-e-r-e-d lumbered

And the latest lumber makes me want to spit

I wrote Newley a long letter

Saying why aren’t pop songs better

He put music to it and it was a hit

Ev’rywhere I go I hear his flamin' number

On the Chinese his parade it’s number ten

(Yen, Ten)

It’s called «l-u-m-b-e-r-e-d, lumbered»

But I’m never gonna get, never gonna get

Never, never never gonna get, never gonna get

Never, never, never gonna get lumbered again