Forever - Joyner Lucas

But you will eventually

You will eventually, some day

One day

I know you don’t understand my words but you will eventually

And when you get older, I hope you don’t hold this shit against me

I hope you understand I love you more than life itself

And this is nothin' but your daddy’s thoughts when he was feelin' empty

And everything ain’t always what it seems like on the outside

I fought so many tears so that you would never see the outcry

I never wanted kids until I lived and went through hard times

And became a man that fell in love with someone that my heart finds

But you know how that shit go, young and reckless, different women part time

And I wasn’t ready for that life yet, I was in my dark prime

Me and your moms ain’t get along and she gave me a hard time

I really think that we just crossed paths at the wrong time

I wasn’t happy when she said she was pregnant

Probably the worst news of my life, that shit was so depressing

I told her she should get an abortion and I really meant it

I’m sorry that I said that shit, yo I was trippin'

I know you don’t understand my words but you will eventually

And when you get older, I hope you don’t hold this shit against me

I’m sorry, yo

And I never wanted a broken home to raise you from a distance

Yeah I’ll admit it, I was scared of that type of commitment

Even hopes of a miscarriage, anything bad that could happen

That’d get me out of that situation, I was livid

I felt like shit about my thoughts, that wasn’t me, I’m different

Plus I was dealing with some demons that I couldn’t live with

I told her she should get an abortion and I really meant it, damn

I know you don’t understand my words but you will eventually

And when you get older I hope you don’t hold this shit against me

Hope you don’t hate me, I was selfish, I hope you forgive me

I hope you forgive me (please forgive me)

And I still remember your baby shower like, it was yesterday

And to your mom it was special, me, just another day

I wish that you could see the pictures, all the fake phony smilin'

Had to pretend that I was happy, deep down I was cryin'

Ma asked if I was okay, I turned around and looked away

I was dryin' all my tears, look back to say «Yeah»

I was lyin', goddamn, how the hell I get here?

This is it, this supposed to be my life, this ain’t how I pictured it

I never felt so damn alone, but it was more than often

One of the worst days of my life, and I ain’t even lyin'

We argued when we came home, I blame myself for all this

I think that I was holding a grudge cause she ain’t get an abortion

I’m sorry (fuck) damn

And I know you can’t understand my words but you will eventually

And when you get older, I hope you don’t hold this shit against me

I can’t believe I tried to hurt you, I hope you forgive me

Please, please

And everything ain’t always what it seems like on the outside

I fight so many tears so that you would never see the outcry

I sacrificed my life so you could live it, peace

Want to give you things my father couldn’t give to, me

I think I was raised wrong and that’s just what it is to me

And if you ask him then his ass gon' probably disagree

But whatever, whatever…

And nothing’s ever made me cry as much as you, I swear

Your smile gives me motivation and some new ideas

My worst fear is always you not knowing who I am

Cause I been on the road dreamchasing for you out here

I was the first thing that you opened your eyes to

And the last one that you said goodnight to

I went home and cried to

And I bawled my eyes out and then watched you

Glad I got you, that’s a blatant fact

And every negative thing I said I swear I take it back

I know you don’t understand my words but you will eventually

And when you get older, I hope you don’t hold this shit against me

I hope you understand I love you more than I love myself

And this is nothin' but your daddy’s thoughts when he was feelin' empty

I was feelin' empty, I been feelin' empty

I put my emotions in this music when I’m feelin' empty

I hope you forgive me

Please, please

Yo wassup, this is Joyner

I’m unable to take your call right now

Leave me a brief message and I’ll get back to you, peace

Ayo nigga, this is like the twelfth time I’ve call you, dawg

I’m sick of getting this fucking voicemail, my nigga

I need my money today, nigga!

Not tomorrow, not next week, nigga, I want it now, bro!

Don’t have me pull up and, and stunt!

You know how the fuck I do, my nigga!

That’s the last thing you want, so get that paper right, bro

I’m not fucking around!