I'm a Mason Now - Jonathan Coulton

You used to laugh at me when I drove a Shriner’s car

You said it’d never fly that I’d never get this far

I always knew that I would make it someday

Now you’d be safer staying out of my way

Guess what I’m a Mason now

And you better take care if you want to stay

On the good side of the guy who’s

Got the secret handshake down

You think you’re pretty bad with your pretty trophy wife

You drive a pretty car through your polo trophy life

I got a robe and a pretty nice ring

You bet that brotherhood’s a wonderful thing

Guess what I’m a Mason now

And you better take care if you want to stay

On the good side of the guy who’s

Got the secret handshake down

Should we talk about the governments that I control?

Should we talk about the hands of fate, the dice they roll?

The secret things you’ll never see?

The secret man you’ll never be?

The secret rooms that have no windows?

Too late to make amends cause the wheel’s in motion now

So get up off your knees, try to carry on somehow

You can’t escape it so you better not try

Now there’s some friends of mine who’d like to say hi

Guess what I’m a Mason now

And you better take care if you want to stay

On the good side of the guy who’s

Got the secret handshake down