Krongu Green Slime - Jeffrey Lewis

Before the land before time, there was a time before land

When the world was just slime, and Krongu was the brand

Yes Krongu green sludge was the popular item

There might have been better sludges, but no-one ever tried 'em

Bought and sold by the platter, green slime by Krongu

It was the most popular matter, it was the most popular hue

It was from sea to sea, it was from dawn to dark

It had thoroughly cornered all of the market

All other colours were in absentia back in BC ten zillion

There was no puce or magenta or chartreuse or cerulean

No red, yellow or blue, well to put it properly

There was green slime by Krongu, it was a total monopoly

If you’d bought stock in there oh for a while it would have sky-rocketed

It would have been mucho deniro that you would have stood to have pocketed

But if you missed out on that ship then you have my sympathies kid

Cos Krongu’s value dipped as those slimy seas did

And land started to pop-up in dribs and drabs at a time

And creatures started to hop-up from the oceans of slime

Krongu’s grip started slipping with this slew of innovations

There was now competition from some new corporations

There were so many styles, and it all seemed so nice

These miles of aisles of life’s merchandise

Some tiny, some giant, some could chirp some could buzz

Rebellious or compliant, with scales, feathers or fuzz

Some were stupid as turnips, some were lowly as corals

Some had high-minded concepts, dreams and ideas and morals

Some were fanged, some were toothless, some were sweet, some were salty

They were popular but useless, they were pretty but faulty

Yes I guess I got fleeced, I got baited and hooked

By each dream and each beast that didn’t work as good as it looked

'cos each one crapped out and broke.

Built to last?

forget it

Get a refund?

that’s a joke, you can’t even exchange for store credit

Someone do some muck-raking, an expose, a news tip-off

This whole store is a heartbreaking, fraudulent rip-off

Forget friends, family, dreams, hearts, trees, birds, dogs, snakes

Forget you, forget me, it’s just cheap stuff that breaks

And in the land after time, and the time after land

They’ll just roll-out the slime in the most trusted brand

When push comes to shove it’ll be Krongu.

No dismissals, no disbarments

No more tears, no more love, no more crew of disposable varmints

'Cos before the land before time, there was a time before land

When the world was just slime and Krongu was the brand

Yes Krongu green sludge, was the popular item

There might have been better sludges, but no-one ever tried 'em