Fly in the Ointment - Ian Dury

Fly in the ointment

Stain on the character

Dust on the wainscot

Hair on the gate

Bee in the bonnet

Ash on the waistcoat

Flake on the shoulder

Crack in the plate

Eye on the clock

Bat in the belfry

Head in the sand

Kick up the arse

Smudge on the collar

Hands in the paint

Flea in the ear

Snake in the grass

The further you love me

If that’s what you said

Climb on the table

Pat on the bed

The further you love me

You were taking the piss-tic

Out of the frying pan

Into the mystic

Rock in the carpet

Gap in the market

The open umbrella

But wait in the hall

An old bit of gum

With nowhere to park it

Soldier of fortune

Ear on the wall

I thought that you loved me

'Cos that’s how I felt

Kick in the bollocks

Under the belt

I thought that you loved me

Now I know I’m a prune

I wish for the window

Don’t want to be rude

Knot in the hanky

Rat on the landing

Little bit hanging

Pain in the bum

Mind your own business

Only one standing

Wrong side of the bed

Terrible hum

I thought that you loved me

'Cos that’s what you said

Grub on the table

Hat on your bed

I thought that you loved me

You were taking the piss-tic

Out of the frying pan

Into the mystic