I Can Do Without You - Howard Keel

In the Summer you’re the Winter

In the finger you’re the splinter

In the banquet you’re the stew

Say, I could do without you

In the garden you’re the gopher

In the Levi’s you’re the loafer

Like an overturned canoe

Well, I could do without you

You can go to Philadelphia

Take a hack to Hackensack

Hey, I’ll never ring a bell fer yer

Or yell fer yer to come back

In the question you’re the why

In the ointment you’re the fly

DORIS:

Though I know some things are indefensible

Like a buck or two

If there’s one thing I can do without

I can do without you

In the barrel you’re a pickle

In the goldmine you’re a nickel

You’re the tack inside my shoe

Yes, I can do without you

In my bosom you’re a dagger

You’re a mangy carpetbagger

In the theatre you’re the 'boo'

I can do without you

You got charms, they ain’t bewitchin' me

You’ve a face no one would paint

DORIS:

I got the darndest itch in me

To be wherever you ain’t

In the bullfrog you’re the croak

In the forest, poison oak

Though I know somethings are necessary

My half-pint buckaroo

If there’s one thing I can do without

I can do without…

You’re a knothead!

You’re a faker!

You’re a bonehead!

Troublemaker!

I can do without you!