Never Google Your Symptoms - Henrik Widegren

One evening, my father said: My son

I’m dying and soon I’ll be gone

But before my final farewell:

Hear me.

And hear me well

Do whatever you want to do

Have a plan or roll the dice

But one thing is strictly taboo

Please, follow my advice

Never google your symptoms

That is my only prescription

You get a hundred diagnoses

And medieval prognoses

Every sign is a serious condition

If you google «cough» and «diagnosis»

You have got tuberculosis

And if you google «fever and red»

You’ve got Ebola and soon will be dead

And if you google «I've a runny nose»

It’s CSF.

Your brain is leaking juice!

And if you google itch and prognosis:

Anaphylactic chock or psychosis

So never google your symptoms

Seldom it brings any wisdom

You want to discover

But you might uncover

That you have an extra chromosome

So this is what I heard my father say

And then he closed his eyes and passed away

The autopsy report was very clear

Death from hypochondric fear

Which is custom

When you google

Your symptoms

Never google your symptoms

The hit list is never awesome

Pain in your left arm?

Heart attack alarm!

Do you feel a little weak?

Yes

You’ve got ALS!

If you have a slight anemia

You’ve got leukemia!

Are you a little crazy?

You’ve got ADHD

So never, ever google

Your symptoms!