Muhammad Ali - America The Beautiful - George Carlin

Muhammad Ali, Muhammad Ali, Muhammad Ali - It's a nice musical name...Muhammad Ali.

He's back at work again;

he's being allowed to work once again, Muhammad Ali.

He wasn't for

awhile, as you know.

For about three and a half years, they didn't let him work.

'Course he had

an unusual job, beating people up.

It's a strange calling, y'know?

But it's one you're entitled to.

Government didn't see it that way.

Government wanted him to change jobs.

Government

wanted him to kill people.

He said, "No, that's where I draw the line. I'll beat 'em up, but I don't

wanna kill 'em." And the government said, "Well, if you won't kill 'em, we won't let you beat 'em

up!

Ah, ha, ha, ha."

It was a spiteful move, y'know.

All because he didn't want to go to Vietnam.

And now, of course,

we're leaving Vietnam...(makes explosion sound) We're leaving through Laos, Cambodia and

Thailand.

It's the overland route.

It's the long way out.

Ya gotta go through China and Russia to

get out that way.

What'll we tell them, man?

"We'll only be here six weeks. Just looking for the

Ho Chi Minh Trail!" Wow. Maybe they'll buy it, y'know. Of course, you have to remember why

we're over there in the first place...(pause, then applause) Oh, yeah!

It always comes to me.

To

free those people...So they can have industry- yeah!

US industry- YEAH!

Those are the middle

two letters of the word 'industry'..US.

And that is our job around the world.

Run in, free some

people and whip a little industry on them.

"Here's your industry. Cool it awhile, willya?"

So that

they can have the benefits of industry that we have come to enjoy...COUGH!

Oh, beautiful

for smoggy skies

insecticided grain

For strip mined mountains majesty

above the asphalt plain

America, America

Man sheds his waste on thee

and hides the pines

with billboard signs

from sea to oily sea-eee!

Then you have to have to remember the sexual side of Vietnam which a lot of people don't

notice.

The Hearst newspapers notice it, of course.

Yes, they're into sex on anything.

You check

the wishing well or the sewing patterns and there's a little something in there.

But they're always

afraid of pulling out.

That's they're big problem, y'know?

"Pull out? Doesn't sound manly to me,

Bill.

I say leave it in there and get the job done!" 'Cause that is, after all, what we're doing to that

country, right?

Yeah.

And we have always been good at that, you must admit.

We, uh, took care of, uh, the

blacks, took care of the Indians.

I consider the South just another minority that was screwed by

the US government.

I have no prejudice against them.

They got it, too.

'budadoom!'

We really gave the Indians a fast trip across the continent, you notice that?

They were having a

little cookout in Massachusetts- buncha boats came up, man..."Hey, ya mind moving over, guys?

Bring in the stuff.

Would you move it over, man.

Bring in the stuff.

Would you move it over, man.

Bring in the stuff.

Would you move it over, man.

Over three mountain ranges...four mountain

ranges.

Got 'em onto an offshore island, Alcatraz, right?

Off the continent completely!

They had

to take the island to get it!

Then we kicked them off there.

"I guess we're going to send them

back where they came from." Yeah, we must, we.. They bought the Bering Strait theory. "Get

them welfare people to work filling in the Bering Strait and charge them Indians a buck a head to

go home.

It's a good sound business solution."