Guys Named Todd - George Carlin

And I’m getting really sick of guys named Todd.

You know it’s just a goofy fucking name okay.

Hi what’s your name?

Todd.

I’m Todd.

And this is Blake.

And Blair and Blane and Brent.

Where are all these goofy fucking boys’ names coming from?

Taylor, Tyler, Jordan, Flynn.

These are not real names.

Do you want to hear a real name?

Eddie.

Eddie is a real name.

Whatever happened to Eddie?

He was here a minute ago.

Joey and Jackie and Johnnie and Phil.

Bobbie and Tommy and Danny and Bill, what happened?

Todd.

And Cody and Dylan and Cameron and Tucker.

Hi.

Tucker.

I’m Todd.

Hi.

Todd.

I’m Tucker.

Fuck Tucker.

Tucker sucks.

And fuck Tucker’s friend Kyle.

There’s another soft name for a boy Kyle.

Soft names make soft people.

I’ll bet you anything that ten times out of ten Nicky, Vinnie and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker.

Thank you very much.