Businessmen - George Carlin

This is just like the business world, same as business;

everybody knows by now, all businessmen are completely full of shit;

just the worst kind of low-life, criminal, cocksuckers, you could ever want to run into… a fucking piece of shit businessman.

And the proof of it is they don’t even trust each other!

They don’t trust one another!

When a businessman sits down and negotiates a deal, the first thing he does is to automatically assume that the other guy is a complete lying prick who’s trying to fuck him out of his money!

So he’s gotta do everything he can to fuck the other guy a little bit faster and a little bit harder… and he’s gotta do it with a big smile on his face.

You know that big, bullshit, businessman smile?

And if you’re a customer, whoa… that’s when you get the really big smile!

Customers always get the really big smile as the businessman carefully positions himself directly behind the customer and unzips his pants and proceeds to service the account!

“I’m servicing this account… this customer needs service.”

Now you know what they mean when they say “we specialize in customer service”.

Whoever coined the phrase “let the buyer beware” was probably bleeding from the asshole.

That’s business.