The Madison Panty-Sniffing Festival - Frank Zappa

FZ: Well it’s contest time ladies and gentlemen.

Direct from Madison

Wisconsin, it’s the Madison Panty-Sniffing Festival, just as promised

Vinnie: Cough!

FZ: Heavy duty?

Maroon nylon heavy duty.

Okay.

.. Light blue cotton with tiny

Skid.

.. .

That’s getting him very excited because it appears that the bottom

Parts of those pants are welded together.

Okay let’s try this, alice blue nylon

Vinnie: These smell like the same ones I had last night

FZ: For those of you who didn’t hear he says those smell like the same ones he

Had last night.

Did you like them?

You don’t like those?

Vinnie: Maybe they are, maybe she’s following us around

FZ: Black Nylon!

Vinnie: Ooooohhhh please!

FZ: Black Nylon, re.

.. e-hem, registring a 19 on the Richter scale

Vinnie: Oh, God.

.. gotta keep on.

.. hah hah, it’s fuckin' disgusting!

FZ: These are very light blue and apparently have come in contact with some

Corrosive material that has eaten the bottom out of it

Vinnie: China syndrome

FZ: What?

Vinnie: China Syndrome!

FZ: Yeah, ha ha ha ha ha!

Awright, rustic hokey pokey, model number thirteen

Vinnie: Oorhh, nehh.

(hack, hack)

FZ: Blue with the little embroidered things on the front

Vinnie: This smells like armpits.

Ugh.

.

FZ: Okay who wins?

Those belong to Chuck Eldridge

Ike: Hi

FZ: Sorry