The Crab-Grass Baby - Frank Zappa

CRAB-GRASS BABY:

Stroke me pompadour, pompaduooor, pompaduooor, pompaduooor.

Stroke me pompadour,

father.

Stroke it nicely while I tell you about the problems I am having with

my car an my girlfriend.

Ooo-wo-woo, the white man’s burden!

Her and her girlfriend used to go out and booze it up and tear up the

upholstery;

rip the seats completely out, and so I got a fifty-six Olds.

About the time I got it running decently, she got in it and wrecked the trans.

.tore it completely up, so I had to get another Oldsmobile (either that or go

to Tijuana or go to BROWN MOSES way down in Egypt-Land).

It’s so hard on a

child when his car is fucked up.

Buy me a Volvo, faaather

Isn’t it terrific, artificial RHONDA!

CRAB-GRASS BABY:

One-Adam-Twelve…see the enormous white pompadour!

Ha-Ha-ha-ho!

That’s a good one!

Hoo-hoo-hoo

He’s so young, and yet, SO WISE!

CRAB-GRASS BABY:

I pooped my pants, pooped my pants, pooped my pants!

I went doody, faaather,

sob-sob-sob-sob-sob

His vocabulary is astonishing!

CRAB-GRASS BABY:

So what if you suck a little cock every once in a while?

Ohhh… I'm so lucky to have a son like this…

CRAB-GRASS BABY:

Barf me out… gag me with a Volvo!

I can’t wait to show him to all the fellas down at the MINE-SHAFT!

CRAB-GRASS BABY:

Take me to the movies.

Buy me a balloon.

Stroke me pompadour!

Look!

Look!

Look at the pecker on him, wouldja!

Goodjy-goodjy-goodjy-goo!

Hoo hoo hoo!

THING-FISH:

Dis boy have a 'PROVLEM'!

However, how 'bout a nice round of applause fo de

three 'WISE MAMMIES', comin' atcha outa chute numba five!