Lonesome Cowboy Nando - Frank Zappa

Frank:

My name is Nando

I’m a marine biologist

All my friends

They call me «Doh»

Ike & Mike:

Hi, Doh!

Frank:

All my family

From someplace in this area

And they complain if I talk about this horrible pizza

During the show

All:

Come out here, to Californy

Just to find me some pretty girls

Ones I seen gets me so horny

Ruby lips, 'n teeth like pearls

Wanna love 'em all, wanna love 'em dearly

Wanna a jellyfish, I’ll even pay

I’ll buy 'em furs, I’ll buy 'em pizza

I know they like me, here’s what I’ll say:

Jimmy Carl Black:

I’m lonesome cowboy Burt

Speakin' atcha!

Won’tcha smell my fringe-y shirt?

Reekin' atcha!

My cowboy pants

My cowboy dance

My bold advance

On this here waitress…

Mark & Howard:

He’s lonesome cowboy Burt.

A-Ha!

Don’tcha get his feelings hurt

Jimmy:

Come on in this place

An' I’ll buy you a taste

You can sit on my face

Where’s my waitress?

Mark & Howard:

Burtram, Burtram redneck!

Burtram, Burtram redneck!

Jimmy:

I’m an awful nice guy

Worked all day in the sun

I’m a roofer by trade

Quite a bundle I’ve made

I’m a unionized roofin' old son-of-a-gun

Mark & Howard:

He’s a unionized roofin' old son of a gun!

Ike:

«Darling, I crazy go nuts when I hear this

You know what I’m sayin'?»

Frank:

When I get off, I get plastered

I swim till I fall on the jellyfish

Then I find me some academic kind of illustrator

I describe the little dangling utensils on this thing

And tell him to draw it up

So it looks just like a brand new jellyfish

Ike & Mike:

(trying to follow along, they sing some gibberish)

Frank:

«Take that!

Take that!»

I fuss an' I cuss and I keep on swimmin'

Till my snorkel puffs up an' turns red

I drool on my shorts

I do some water sports

Then I take the jellyfish back to my house

And stick it in the bed!

«Sorta…»

Ike & Mike:

«Whaddya do?»

Stick it again in the bed!

Frank:

«That's right!

Ike & Mike:

Stick it again in the bed!

Stick it again in the bed!

Stick it again in the bed!

Jimmy:

Lonesome cowboy Burt

Speakin' atcha!

Smell my fringe-y shirt

Reekin' atcha!

My cowboy pants

My cowboy dance

My bold advance

On this here waitress!

Mark & Howard:

He’s lonesome cowboy Burt.

Yee-ha!

Don’tcha get his feelings hurt!

Jimmy:

Come on in this place

An' I’ll buy you a taste

You can sit on my face

Where’s my waitress?

«Opal, you hot little bitch!»