Bank of Elevators - Direct Hit!

Checking in?

What’s the last name?

Just a sec, a note just came for you…

Sorry, we’ve got a problem…

It appears that your inclination

To end the lives of your fellow countrymen

Has made it tough to admit you

To the right, if you’d like, is a door to the bottom

Of the world — Where you go if you feel lost or forgotten

Oh, we know that it’s not at all an ideal system

But the man at the top is just too busy to listen

To the left is a sort of way station

Where you wait if you don’t accept your fate

So take your time, we’ll be waiting

I’ll add a note and we’ll call you —

But I can say a reply to

Complaints can take a century longer

Or, if you’d like, you can do us a particular favor —

Just consent, sign your name here on the back of this waiver

I admit that it’s not the most attractive of wagers

But compared to who you’re dealing with you’re certainly braver

To the right that’s where the bad guys go all alone

And to the left that’s where the old lost souls say hello

And so alright, have you made your mind up yet?

We’ll send you back but you’re on a mission:

Who sent you here didn’t have the guts to face

The fucking fact that they’d chosen

To spend forever in torment —

Bring em back for their descent to hell

Is that a task you can handle?

You’ll be equipped with the superpowers usually given

To the bodyguards protecting all the angels in heaven

When you’re done, see me here and we’ll discuss compensation —

If there’s something I can say, it’s we’re especially patient

To the right that’s where the bad guys go all alone

And to the left that’s where the old lost souls

Say hello and so alright, take your time

You’ll be equipped with the superpowers usually given

To the bodyguards protecting all the angels in heaven

When you’re done, see me here and we’ll discuss compensation —

If there’s something I can say, it’s we’re especially patient