The Waiter - David Baerwald

Good evening sir and madam, I would like to introduce myself

I’ll be your waiter and your friend for the evening

My only purpose is to serve and if I might observe

Madam is looking quite spectacular this evening

And if I might suggest the trout is very, very fresh

And the chef has taken pains with the sauces

And the pastries are divine and we have a special wine

Brought directly back from Paris by our bosses

Am I alone in this?

Am I alone…

I am your waiter and I am ordinary and I am the wildest in the world…

I am your waiter and I am ordinary and I hope you enjoy your evening

The specials tonight are the fresh fish and a radish

Directly from the farm and the harbor

Though I must recommend the oysters Hollandaise

I’m told it increases your ardor

The coffee tonight is the Brazilian espresso

The liqueur the Tia Maria

I’m in a spin, I’m swept, I’m asexual sundered

Split apart in sweeping fields of color

Am I alone in this?

Am I alone…

I am your waiter and I am ordinary and I am the wildest in the world…

I am your waiter and I am ordinary and I hope you enjoy your evening

Whole waiting

Waiting and whole…

The walls of the walls they flicker and fade

Soft and hard in a swift parade

In shining rooms sublimely made

I am a waiter

A shadow flickers a face sweeps by

Transparent in the shining window

I am recognized by a stranger

I am someone that they knew

They know someone that I was

I must be that someone

But I’m not the evidence denied

That someone is not I

I am a waiter

The boxer trains, the baby cries, the waiter waits

All boxers train, all babies cry, all waiters wait

In towers and gutters and soft sweet rooms

Eating takeout or escargot

Or drinking coffee from a paper cup

Or Chateau Rothschild from a crystal goblet

Am I alone in this?

Am I alone…

I am your waiter and I am ordinary and I am the wildest in the world…