If There's a Will Reprise - Daveed Diggs

You think you’re gonna get all the money, huh?

A damn dog!

Do you have any idea what I do for that woman?

Half of her blood used to be my blood

Fluffy little face

With your fluffy dumb tail

Wagging to the pace

Life is tough with your plushy bedding and your tushy-petting-getting

Ooo, I could choke you 'til you croak 'cause my life’s a joke

You see

For once in my life I’d have glee

If I didn’t have to lift a finger

If I linger here by the Harlem Meer

And I have to lag

And help an old hag with her handbag

«Bless you»

Bless you

«Achoo»

Tissue?

«Thank you»

Yes, if we talk in the crosswalk

Then a bike group bikes by, bye-bye

And a horse on its course

Pulls its carriage with a force

And splat, you’ll be flat

Like a hat that’s been sat on

Mwahahahahahahahaha

Mwahahahahahahahaha

Mwahahahahahahahaha

Ugh, that’s exhausting

If there’s a will, there’s a way, there’s a way

If there’s a will, there’s a way, there’s a way

There’s a way to get away scot-free

With a sneaky-deaky murder of the first degree

So, doggy don’t mess

See now who’s a pedigree

Me

Oops, I did not mean to come this way